


How Jiwoo Got Her Groove Back

by lavenderGreen



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Non-Idol AU, Pining, a few nct dream boys are side characters here, actor jiwoo, but i didn't want to clog the NCT tag so look out orbitzens, chuulip is endgame okay, except yeojin and yerim lmao, references to red velvet so look out orbitluvs, side hyewon, they're all adults in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-01-22 18:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21306551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderGreen/pseuds/lavenderGreen
Summary: Jiwoo tells Jungeun she loves her. Jungeun rejects her. Let's move from here.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul, Kim Jiwoo | Chuu/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	1. i only see you

**Author's Note:**

> I should say that this fic is heavily inspired by the Remus/Sirius fic "How Remus Got His Groove Back" by RealityShowJunky, right down to the title and most of the beginning. If you're a Harry Potter fan, I suggest you give it a read. It's much better than my fic, lmao
> 
> Here's a playlist of songs that I imagine fit for this fic: [so please, listen along and enjoy this lovely thing!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6vU7xnsCFJOEqLBqlA6rKd?si=4IFs3NlVSzCA6DAI4Dd3NQ)

Jiwoo wakes up surrounded by warmth and with a crick in her neck. Upon further inspection she realizes it’s because she’s fallen asleep on the couch, her head tilted back against something that twists her neck in a strange way. The warmth is a little harder to explain in her sleep-addled mind, but she realizes it’s because Jungeun’s entire body is pressed against Jiwoo’s back. Jiwoo shuffles back a little from the edge of the couch and tucks her head further against what turns out to be Jungeun’s arm, wrapped over Jiwoo’s shoulders, and falls back asleep. 

Jungeun’s other hand settles onto Jiwoo’s hip, and Jiwoo tries not to think too hard about that, or about Jungeun’s breath on her neck, or how she could just lean back right now and wake her up with a kiss. She’d get to see Jungeun blink sleepily and smile at her. But at that moment, Jungeun shuffles in that way where Jiwoo knows she’s about to wake up, so Jiwoo feigns sleep, just to see what’ll happen. She just barely stifles a smile. 

But instead of holding Jiwoo closer or, you know, making a move, Jungeun sighs. It doesn’t sound like a contented sigh, Jungeun isn’t the type of person to sigh contentedly. It sounds more belabored, maybe exasperated. Before Jiwoo can decipher that, Jungeun slips her arm out from under Jiwoo, whose head falls unceremoniously down on the couch. She feels, even with her eyes closed, Jungeun extricate herself out of her grip and off of the couch. Somehow, it seems easier to not smile now. 

Jiwoo waits until the sounds of Jungeun fade away into the kitchen before she opens her eyes and stares blankly at the dark TV screen. What a pathetic image she makes—lying on the couch alone, trying desperately to hold on to the contentment from just moments ago. 

It usually isn’t such a hardship to be in love with Jungeun. After a while Jiwoo got used to it, and most of the time she was happy with spending all day with her, to binge-watch dramas and cook for her, for Jungeun to crawl into Jiwoo’s bed after a nightmare or a bad day. It made up for everything else; like when Jungeun would disappear for the night only to stumble home with another person, and act like Jiwoo wasn’t sleeping in the next room. Or when she would say of Jiwoo, “We’re friends.” Just friends, like they hadn’t known each other over a decade, like Jiwoo didn’t feel all these things about her. That was all okay, most of the time. 

Jiwoo screws her eyes shut, but she sits up anyway and padds into the kitchen, blinking the stars out of her vision. Jungeun is there, in her thin pajama pants and a tank top, watching the coffeemaker groggily. 

“Time’s it?” Jiwoo says through a yawn. 

“‘Time’s it?’” Jungeun mocks, and immediately smiles at Jiwoo, who laughs. “It’s nine-thirty.” 

“Okay,” Jiwoo says. “You want breakfast?” 

It really isn’t so bad, Jiwoo thinks as she scrambles some more eggs for Jungeun. Jungeun, who is currently draped against her back, arms looped around her waist, cheek resting in the crook of Jiwoo’s neck. No, it isn’t a hardship to be in love with Kim Jungeun. 

\----

That doesn’t mean that Jiwoo doesn’t get to complain about it though. 

“How does she not get it?” she whines while blowing on her nails, painted peachy pink. 

“Get that nail polish out of my kitchen,” Haseul says, stirring something in a wok. “It’s normal, right? You guys have been like this for forever, from what I hear.” 

“It’s true,” Gowon says, painting her nails teal next to Jiwoo. “Even when they first met in middle school, Haseul, they were attached by the hip. And Jiwoo was always like, ‘Oh Jungeun, she’s so pretty, she’s so talented, we’re gonna be best friends!’” She rolls her eyes, and Jiwoo slaps her arm. “Hey, hey, watch the nails.”

“Seriously, do you guys know how flammable nail polish is? Please do this in the living room.” 

“We can’t.” 

“Why not?” Haseul asks. 

“Yeojin—” Gowon gestures out toward the rest of the apartment. 

“She’s gonna judge our nail polish,” Jiwoo concurs. 

“Well, she’ll judge mine, but she likes you,” Gowon says ruefully. 

Jiwoo preens at that. “It’s because I appeal to her youthful nature.” 

“It’s because you’re both loud,” Gowon retorts. Haseul snorts at that, and Jiwoo glares at both of them. 

“Anyways Yeojin would probably rat on me to Jungeun, or something,” Jiwoo says. 

“You’re right, I think.” Haseul sighs. “But, about Jungeun—”

“Yeah?”

“—I really think you should tell her.” 

“Tell her what?” Heejin opens the kitchen door. “Hey, guys. Are we talking about Jiwoo and Jungeun?”

“How’d you know?”

“We’re always talking about them. And also, I figured if you guys are talking in here, you’re afraid of Yeojin judging you, so,” Heejin shrugs. 

“Haseul says she thinks I should just tell Jungeun,” Jiwoo says. 

“I agree, just so we’re clear,” Gowon adds. Heejin frowns. 

“I think so too, Jiwoo.”

“Oh,” Jiwoo says. She stares at her wet nails, wondering if Jungeun would notice when she got back. She isn’t joining them for dinner that day, because she’s out clubbing tonight, which, good for her. It’s been way too many times for Jiwoo to feel anything other than residual jealousy at Jungeun dancing with other people. 

Jiwoo isn’t usually the type to, but suddenly she realizes she’s nervous. There was really no way to tell how Jungeun’d react, and quite frankly Jiwoo doesn’t know if it’s worth it to trade ten years of friendship away all for a confession. 

“Hey.” Heejin smiles comfortingly at Jiwoo. “Don’t feel too nervous, okay? I have a good feeling about you telling her, if it helps. I know Jungeun. We’re best friends.” And they were—Jungeun’s closer to Heejin than she is to Jiwoo, probably. “And I know that there’s absolutely no reason to worry.”

Jiwoo lets out a breath, and twists the cap onto her nail polish. She’s feeling optimistic too. 

“Shall we eat?” 

At dinner, Yeojin, still in her middle school uniform, stares at Gowon’s teal nails, and to her despair, says, “I don’t think that color suits you.” 

\----  
The door opens and shuts softly. Jiwoo pretends not to hear it. She keeps her eyes trained on the script in front of her. She only hears one set of footsteps walking further into the house, thank god. She doesn’t know what she’d do if Jungeun brought someone home tonight. 

“Hey,” Jungeun says softly. Jiwoo looks up at her. She still has her outfit on, a slinky little black number, something with a lot of silver and chains, with a fishnet top underneath. And she still has all her makeup on immaculately. It makes Jiwoo’s head short-circuit a little, to be looked at with those dark-lined eyes. 

“Hi!” Jiwoo says, way too loud, smile way too bright. 

“How was dinner?” Jungeun throws her coat over the back of the couch and flops over on the couch next to Jiwoo. 

“It was nice. Haseul cooked bulgogi.” Jiwoo looks back down to her script. She can feel her previous resolve waning, with Jungeun next to her, looking like that. Jungeun groans. 

“I can’t believe I missed Haseul’s bulgogi.” 

“And you didn’t even score any game.” Jiwoo means it as a joke, but Jungeun only looks at her strangely. Jiwoo turns back, pretending to read the script, cheeks heating. 

They are silent for a while, until Jungeun shuffles around so that her head is in Jiwoo’s lap. Jiwoo squirms a little from the tickle of Jungeun’s hair, long and dark. She remembers when it used to be blonde—that had Done Things to her. Now it’s black, and Jiwoo isn’t sure if that’s a blessing or a curse. On one hand Jungeun looks less ethereal, more like Jiwoo’s best friend, but on the other, in moments like now, Jungeun staring at her with dark eyes and dark hair make Jiwoo unsteady in another way entirely. 

“You painted your nails,” Jungeun says, quiet this time, like she also senses a peacefulness around them that shouldn’t be broken. Jiwoo smiles a little, but inside she’s kind of irrationally screaming with glee that Jungeun noticed. 

She’s pathetic, she really is. 

“Yeah,” Jiwoo says, more sedately than she feels. She gives in to Jungeun tugging her hand down to inspect them. “You like ‘em?” 

“They’re pretty,” Jungeun says, but she doesn’t give Jiwoo’s hand back. “They suit you. It’s your color.” 

“Peach looks good on everybody.”

“Yeah, but you look really good in it.” Jungeun places Jiwoo’s hand in her hair, soft and warm and still damp from sweating on the dance floor.

“Gowon painted her nails teal,” Jiwoo says, to prevent herself from thinking too hard about why Jungeun would’ve noticed what colors look nice on her. “Yeojin hated them.” 

Jungeun winces. “That’s what I thought would happen.”

“I think Gowon wanted to cry a little.”

“I would too. That girl is vicious.” 

Jiwoo hums, really and truly focusing on her script now. 

“Is that the soap opera?” Jungeun says, her voice low and slow in that way that Jiwoo knows means that she’s about to fall asleep.

“Yeah. I’m reading for the part of Minyeon.” 

“Isn’t she the little sister?”

“Yeah.” 

“It’s too small of a part. You should read for Yeohyun.” Jungeun yawns.

“Yeohyun’s the main character, though. And Minyeon suits me better, don’t you think?”

“Sure. But you should be the main character.” 

And before Jiwoo’s properly thought of a response, Jungeun is fast asleep in her lap, Jiwoo’s hand still in her hair. 

\----  
It turns out Jiwoo doesn’t have to languish for long, waiting to tell Jungeun. Because Jungeun emerges from her room in the morning, the glittery remnants of her makeup still on her face, even as she’s dressed so soft and cute, and eats from Jiwoo’s plate absentmindedly. 

And Jiwoo, fool that she is for love, even after all these years, blurts out, “I love you.” 

Jungeun looks surprised but not displeased. “Hey, I love you too.” She smiles at Jiwoo, who feels her insides grow cold. “Did you make coffee?” 

Here, knowingly or not, Jungeun offers an out. Jiwoo could pretend she didn’t mean it like that. She could smile back and say, “no, go do it yourself.” She could push that part of herself away, and they would go back to normal. She could, in this moment, keep going with pretending that everything is okay, living in this state of being on the edge of happy but being only a few feet too short.

“No, Jungeun,” Jiwoo says instead. Despite herself, she feels that optimism from the night before again. “I love you. I’m in love with you.” 

“Oh,” Jungeun says, quieter now, maybe a little more detached. Jiwoo turns away from her, afraid of what she’ll find. “Look, Jiwoo…”

Jiwoo resolutely does not look. 

“Maybe I’ve been sending mixed signals. That’s my fault.” 

“Is it?” Jiwoo busies herself with cleaning her dishes, and in the background she hears Jungeun come up behind her. 

“You of all people know that I don’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t like them. And, you know, you’re you.”

Jiwoo turns at that. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She sounds angry, and really she doesn’t want to fight Jungeun, but, well, she’s gotten this far, whatever happens next would pale in comparison. 

Jungeun doesn’t snap at her like she expected, though, instead she looks conflicted, and maybe a little sad. Or is that pity on her face? Jiwoo is so tired of everybody pitying her. 

“You’re…I don’t want to date you, Jiwoo.” 

Jiwoo thinks, briefly, of pressing further, but she tamps that down and turns to the dishes, scrubbing at the pan with a fury. “Okay,” she says. 

“Hey, come on,” Jungeun insists. “This won’t change anything, right?” 

Jiwoo scrubs harder. “No.” 

“It doesn’t have to.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jiwoo rinses the pan and sets it in the drying rack. “I have to go. I have—auditions to get to.” They both know she’s lying, but Jungeun watches her leave. 

“Jiwoo,” Jungeun calls, halfheartedly, as Jiwoo steps out of the front door.


	2. easy, easy tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay....i'm sorry it's been more than a month. thank you for the kind response to the first chapter! i have more of an idea of where i want this fic to go now, so hopefully updates will come sooner.

“So you mean to say that you aren’t supermodel and famous idol Park Sooyoung?” Jiwoo asks incredulously. 

“No,” the girl in front of her says. 

“Why did I even accept this part then?”

“I’m sorry,” the other girl, Ha Sooyoung, says. “Normally I wouldn’t be, but I also wish I was Park Sooyoung.”

Jiwoo nods understandingly, and they go back to reading their scripts. Yesterday, while she was crying on her walk around town after telling Jungeun, her agent called. They loved her, he said, and she had the part of Yeohyun, if she wanted it. 

So now Jiwoo is sitting with actress Ha Sooyoung, who’ll be playing alongside her as Yeohyun’s best friend, Eunjung. Know Me by Heart goes into production in three weeks, and the director seems to have just mashed the two of them together, seemingly expecting them to be fast friends by the time the camera rolls. 

Sooyoung is tall and slim, and has a face like she doesn’t know how to smile, which is so at odds with Jiwoo’s own demeanour. But she has a wicked sense of humor and Jiwoo presumes she’ll be tripped or have her chair pulled out from under her by this girl before the end of the day. 

She’s also currently squinting at Jiwoo over the top of her script. 

“What is it?” Jiwoo says. 

“Do I know you from somewhere? Why do you look so familiar?”

“I just have that kind of highly adorable and friendly face.” 

“You are cute, but that’s not it.” She squints some more, and Jiwoo racks her brain as to where she might have met Sooyoung.

“Do you sell pretzels at the Paris Baguette in front of my apartment building?” Jiwoo ventures. 

“Why would I do that? No. Oh, I know, you also went to that dance academy—Polaris, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, I did,” Jiwoo says. Then, she remembers. “Hey, I remember you. You were two grades above me, weren’t you? And what did you call yourself again?” 

“Don’t do this to me, Jiwoo.” 

“Was it…Eve?”

“Yves,” Sooyoung corrects begrudgingly. “That was going to be my stage name, but the guild didn’t let me use it.” 

“What a shame, Eve.”

\----

None of them were particularly rich, except for maybe Jungeun, who, for as long as Jiwoo had known her, never divulged her financial situation; so they never often splurged on anything for their weekly dinners. Tonight, however, Gowon came in hoisting a champagne bottle almost as tall as she was, with Heejin whooping like a frat boy behind her. 

“What the hell is this?” Jiwoo says, watching the procession from where she’s setting the dining table with Jungeun. 

“Somebody is gonna be on TV. Let’s celebrate!” Gowon sets the champagne bottle down on the table with a deafeningly loud clunk. 

“That is the most booze I’ve ever seen in one place before in my entire life,” says Jiwoo. Jungeun scoffs at that, but when Jiwoo looks to her, grinning, waiting for the accompanying joke, Jungeun just looks away, examining the label.

Things are awkward between them. Jiwoo had gone home that night after the reading with Sooyoung and found the apartment dark and empty. She pondered waiting up for Jungeun, but Jungeun ended up not coming home. 

They came to Haseul’s place separately tonight. They never used to do that before. 

Frankly, Jiwoo doesn’t think that they can exist as they did a few days or weeks ago anymore. Whose fault that is, she isn’t sure. But they’re reaching a new state of equilibrium now, where Jungeun doesn’t touch her and rarely smiles. Jiwoo in turn, doesn’t tell Jungeun everything, nor does she cook breakfast for her anymore. Maybe that’s just how it’ll be from now on. Eventually, they’ll get used to it, she thinks. 

She’s pulled out of her thoughts by Jungeun saying to her, “You got the part? Congrats!” 

Heejin and Gowon look surprised that Jiwoo didn’t tell Jungeun, but maybe they can read her mind, because they mercifully don’t bring it up at the moment. She still hasn’t told them that she confessed two days ago, but they probably know. Heejin is emotionally intelligent enough to glean it, and Gowon is enough of a rascal to find out herself somehow. 

Jungeun says, “So we’ll be seeing you as Minyeon?” 

“No,” Jiwoo says. “I’m playing Yeohyun. You were right.” 

It’s almost heartbreaking how happy Jungeun looks for her, and Jiwoo wishes so badly for a time machine so she could stop her past self from confessing, just to enjoy this moment wholeheartedly. And maybe along the way, find out who the Zodiac Killer was, or something.

They settle in for dinner, armed with comically large wine glasses courtesy of Heejin for the champagne. Yeojin’s been exiled to her friend’s house for the night, which is probably the only reason why Haseul’s letting them drink tonight. Somebody’s put on the new Jang Beom June album, and Jiwoo’s feeling like a character in a slice-of-life Webtoon. 

“Let’s raise a glass to our cute baby princess, Jiwoo!” says Heejin, who has made some variation of this pronouncement four times since they sat down to eat. Nevertheless, they all raise their fishbowl glasses, filled with champagne, and drink to Jiwoo. 

“So does this mean you’re actually gonna move out?” Gowon says. Jiwoo wants to punch her, and Haseul has her fingers at her temples. 

“Huh?!” Says Heejin, maybe a little more dramatically than the situation calls for. Next to Jiwoo, Jungeun choked on her drink.

Jiwoo takes a sip of her champagne. “Thanks, Gowon.” Gowon does not look even the slightest bit sorry. “Yes, I suppose so, now that I have, you know, an income.”

The table shakes as Jungeun stands abruptly, and murmurs something about going for a walk. Jang Beom June continues to play in the background. Heejin makes a hand gesture that Jiwoo interprets as roughly meaning, ‘go after her, for all our sakes’, so Jiwoo does. 

Jungeun isn’t walking. Jiwoo walks out of the elevator and finds Jungeun leant against the mailboxes, brooding, by the look of it. She doesn’t look up when Jiwoo comes closer.

“So,” Jiwoo starts. She’s unsure how to proceed. 

“You’re moving out?” 

“Yeah—”

“So, when was I supposed to find out?” Jungeun looks at Jiwoo properly then, and she looks angry. Jiwoo can count on one hand—one finger, actually, the only other time that Jungeun had looked at her like that. That was back in their senior year, when Jiwoo had said, you know, we’re probably not gonna be as close after high school. And back then, it was also about Jiwoo leaving. She can’t help but feel that same guilt again, looking at Jungeun’s face. 

“It’s not like everybody knew,” Jiwoo says, like that makes a difference. Jungeun isn’t just anybody. “I didn’t tell Heejin.” 

“You didn’t tell Heejin because you knew she’d tell me!”

“Well, that’s true, but—”

“Why Gowon?” Jungeun interrupts. The anger is gone—Jungeun’s never been able to be angry for long. But the hurt, painted clear and unabashed on her face, is almost worse. “Why not me? You know I would have helped you, right?”

“I,” Jiwoo finds she doesn’t have an answer. 

“Right?” Jungeun insists, but her face falls and she wrings her fists. “Look, is this about—about what you told me? Because you know I don’t care, right?” 

Okay, that hurts the most. That hurts more than Jiwoo cares to let Jungeun know. It is precisely the fact that Jungeun doesn’t care that is the problem. But Jungeun keeps looking so plaintive and insistent, and Jiwoo feels herself try to muster up a cheerful smile. 

“I know, don’t worry. We’re best friends.” She hits Jungeun playfully, but she doesn’t reciprocate. “It’s nothing to do with the—with that.” A lie. “I’ve been planning this for a while.” Not really. “I just thought that since you’re so stressed with work and all, there was no point in telling you until I was sure.” 

“And you’re sure?” Jungeun looks as if she already knows what the answer is. “How sure?”

Jiwoo doesn’t know how to answer that. “You can come with me when I sign the lease and take a look—”

“So you have an apartment picked out.” Jungeun pushes off the wall and turns away. Jiwoo sees a frown, just for a moment, before she can’t see her face at all. “You have an apartment picked out and you’re not sure.” 

“Jungeun—”

“Why are you so selfish?”

jiwoo has to stop for a second. She isn’t sure that she heard that right. “Selfish?” 

“That’s what I said. What’s wrong with you?” 

“What’s wrong with me?” Jiwoo feels like all she can do is repeat Jungeun. Jungeun, who’s never looked quite so angry at Jiwoo before. And some part of Jiwoo wants to cry, seeing that directed at her. It’s the same part that doesn’t drag Jungeun back into bed when she inevitably leaves every morning. The same part that pretends to be asleep when Jungeun comes home from the club with somebody else in tow. Instead for the first time ever, it seems, Jiwoo ignores the urge, and she scowls at Jungeun. 

“How can you say that? Selfish? You think I enjoy bumping into your hook-ups in the morning? You think I want to feel like crap all the time?” Jiwoo comes to the horrifying realization that she’s about to cry. “I just think this is easier.” Her voice comes out embarrassingly thick. 

She looks upward, trying not to let her tears ruin her makeup. “You can’t just say that about me.” Jiwoo sniffs, and sighs. “Can you tell Haseul I’m going home?” 

After a pause, wherein they are both still, Jungeun leaves silently. Jiwoo doesn’t have the wherewithal to tell whether she’s storming away or not.

Five minutes later, Jiwoo realizes that she’s forgotten her phone, and her wallet. All she has on her is some crumpled bills in her back pocket, just enough for a bus ride back to her place, and too much pride to go back up to Haseul’s apartment. She steels herself, and steps out of the building, onto the dark street. It feels like more than just going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ch title from [let me down easy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeBf79q90js) by gang of youths

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave some comments, I read them all!
> 
> Come hang out at my twitter: oceania.chee


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